I’ve been thinking about the lovely small steps amazing achievements linky that others have been talking about (http://www.ethans-escapades.co.uk/p/aligncenter-hrefhttpwww.html) and come to the conclusion that, as is Small’s glacial way, we have one. He has grown up.
As Small has such a plethora of disabilities I – and the rest of Team Small – tend to overwhelmingly baby the poor lad, despite his having turned 3 this month. 3, really?? But, actually, he is no longer a baby his is, without doubt, a little boy. Looking at pictures you can see the change. He has gone from blank faced little chap to a boy with an alertness and an awareness about him who knows when things are funny. Daddy, you’re throwing a shiny ball in the air? That’s hilarious, Big, you’re making chicken noises, I think I may laugh so hard I’ll choke!
It’s only when I look at our day (see Small’s day) that I realise how it has changed. In that newborn way – that went on faaaaar beyond newborn – everything used to be a rush to get done before Small screamed. Let’s get him up, he’s screaming; let’s get him fed, he’s screaming; let’s get out, he’s screaming. Now? Well, Small has learned patience. He will wait. Not forever mind, he’s still only 3 and he still has all his additional needs and inabilities to a) express himself clearly or b) get to the thing he wants, but he will wait and play long enough for us all to be ready at the same time and get to the next activity without so much stress.
There is less stress in our lives.
And I have noticed that it’s the lack of stress and the addition of respite that has rippled so positively through our daily life. For me, well, I occasionally ring people now. And am able to have a conversation. But most of all, I am wearing jewellery again. This is perhaps MY amazing achievement. For 3 years I didn’t have enough room in my head to create space in my life to slip on a bracelet and a pair of earrings. It’s hard to express what this means that I now do, but I suspect some of you will understand. It’s huge. It’s like I’m slowly but surely walking back to me.